Brace yourself! Whoever said dentistry was boring? Think again. Here you’ll find 44 of the funniest dentist jokes you’ve ever heard, that are bound to tickle your fillings
Below are 44 of the best dentist jokes that are sure to make you laugh out loud. As we all know, visiting the dentist isn’t always the most fun experience, in fact, it can be quite the opposite. Not to worry, these jokes are sure to give you a sweet tooth. So, sit back, relax and enjoy.
1. When is the best time for a dentist appointment?
Tooth hurty.
2. What did the dentist say to Tiger Woods?
“You have a hole in one.”
3. What do you call a dentist that doesn’t like tea?
Denis.
4. Patient: How much will it cost me to have this tooth pulled out?
Dentist: £500.
Patient: £500 for just a few minutes’ work? That’s hardly cheap.
Dentist: No worries, I’ll pull it out slowly if you prefer.
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused to have an anaesthetic injection before a filling?
Apparently, he wanted to transcend dental medication.
Smile, Its Funny!
6. What does the Dentist of the Year get?
A little plaque.
7. Dentist: Could you help me, please? Scream as loud and painfully as you possibly can.
Patient: Why? It hasn’t hurt me this time.
Dentist: Because the waiting room is full, and I don’t want to miss the cup final at 3!
8. Why did the dentist make a poor date with the manicurist?
Because they fought tooth and nail.
9. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes how I talk since I lost my teeth!
10. What’s a dentist’s favourite emote to use when they play Fortnite?
The floss.
Warning: Excessive Smiling Ahead
11. Dentist: Do you floss?
Patient: Religiously.
Dentist: Really?
Patient: Of course. Christmas and Easter!
12. What’s the difference between American and British dentists?
British dentists tend to be more careful with their patients, whereas American dentists tend to yank teeth.
13. Patient: What did you do before you became a dentist?
Dentist: I was in the Army.
Patient: What did you do in the Army?
Dentist: I was a drill sergeant.
14. Why didn’t the yellow tooth find the white tooth’s jokes funny?
Because he was already dead inside.
15. What did the 90-year-old say to his great-grandson?
“I miss the days of being your age when my teeth were in my mouth 24/7!”
16. What was the tooth called who went to Oxford University?
The Wisdom Tooth.
17. Have you seen Eddie recently? He’s been so moody!
Don’t worry about him. He always seems to have a chip on his shoulder these days.
18. What do dentists call their X-rays?
Tooth pics.
19. What did Ash Ketchum say to his tooth when he pulled it out?
“I chews you!”
20. What’s a dentist’s favourite dinosaur?
A Flossiraptor.
Brace yourself for these jokes
21. My wife, who was a dentist, passed away.
I’ve loved and I’ve flossed.
22. When did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
When he dropped the drill.
23. My friend said I was crazy for investing all my money into a business that combines a boxing gym, a dentist, and a nail salon.
I told him I’m going to fight tooth and nail for it.
24. Dentist: Open wider.
After examining the patient, the dentist said,
“You’ve got the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen… the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen!”
Patient: You don’t have to say it twice!
Dentist: I didn’t. That was the echo.
25. What did the dentist see at the North Pole?
A molar bear.
26. Johnny had just had a tooth extracted when the receptionist asked how he was feeling.
“I’m okay,” he replied, “but I didn’t like the four-letter word the dentist used.”
“What did he say?”
“Oops!”
27. Why was the man arrested for looking at dentures in a dentist’s window?
Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.
28. “What sort of act do you do?”
“I bend over backwards and pick up a handkerchief with my teeth.”
“Anything else?”
“Then I bend over backwards and pick up my teeth.”
29. A man’s false teeth flew across the room after he coughed.
His friend offered to get him another set from his brother.
The dentures fit perfectly.
“Your brother must be a brilliant dentist!”
“He’s not a dentist… he’s an undertaker.”
30. A woman left the dentist’s office smiling, she told me she’d finally found a gentle, painless dentist.
When I mentioned this to the dentist, he laughed.
“That was just my mother.”
Tooth funny to ignore
31. Young girl: “Daddy, when I grow up, should I become a heart doctor or a tooth doctor?”
Father: “A dentist.”
Young girl: “Why?”
Father: “Because we only have one heart, but 32 teeth!”
32. Why did the deer need braces?
He had buck teeth.
33. Patient: Doctor, if I give up candy, pizza, popcorn and gum, will my braces come off sooner?
Dentist: Not really. It will just seem longer.
34. A new dentist opened a practice and claimed to be completely painless.
A local boy wasn’t convinced.
“He’s a fake!” he told his friends.
“When he put his finger in my mouth, I bit him… and he yelled just like everyone else!”
35. What do you call an old dentist?
A bit long in the tooth.
Open wide for some laughter
36. Fred’s mum called the dentist: “I thought my son’s treatment would cost £20, but you’ve charged me £80!”
Dentist: “It normally is £20, but Fred screamed so loudly that three of my other patients ran away.”
37. How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to administer the anaesthetic, one to extract the light bulb, and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash.
38. Patient: How much to get my teeth straightened?
Dentist: Twenty thousand pounds.
The patient heads for the door.
Dentist: Where are you going?
Patient: To a plastic surgeon to get my mouth bent.
39. A patient asked the dentist if it wasn’t unpleasant spending all day with his hands in people’s mouths.
The dentist replied: “I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet.”
The root of all humour
40. A book never written:
“I Have a Toothache” by Phil McCavity.
41. On Monday I said to my boss,
“I’ve got a dentist’s appointment this afternoon. Can I leave at two and make up the time later this week?”
“No problem,” he replied.
On Friday he asked,
“Why does your timesheet say you finished at five o’clock on Monday?”
I said, “Because I told you I’d make the time up.”
42. I’ve no idea why people hate going to the dentist so much.
In my opinion, it can be very refilling.
43. I went on a date with a dentist last night. At the end of the evening she said,
“I’d love to see you again in six months.”
It ended up costing me an absolute fortune as well!
44. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
If you enjoyed our jokes and memes, why not check out Toothonomics ?A social media page that posts all sorts of cool art, jokes and memes related to dentistry.
Furthermore, you may wish to read our article which provides an exclusive insight into 15 dental marketing strategies.
